I got her a Nickelback box set.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
