thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
