According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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