NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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