i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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