We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize