Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
