so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
