batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
