is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
