Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
