i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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