drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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