When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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