I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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