you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
