My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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