Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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