What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize