areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
