I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
