I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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