Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
