I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
