My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
