I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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