If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
