the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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