In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
