you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
