It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
