i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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