I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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