unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dear god my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
