All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
