Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
