then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My friends, they love my intelligence
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
