it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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