2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Say something about gay babies.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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