I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
