i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
