butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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