If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
