No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
