...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize