This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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