Sponge bath it is.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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