(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
