Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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