i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
