He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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