I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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