I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
