we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
