Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
