You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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