Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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